A Tennessee man is claiming he’s addicted to porn—and it’s all his computer’s fault. As the Huffington Post reports, “Per the complaint, Sevier’s problem began after he tried to visit Facebook.com, but – accidentally, he says – typed “F**kbook.com,” an adult site that ‘appealed to his biological sensibilities as a male and led to an unwanted addiction with adverse consequences.’” Well, unless Macs have some sorta special keyboard where the “u” and “a” keys are a lot closer together than on your typical qwerty, something tells me that was no accident. Nor is it really Apple’s fault.
But in his rambling, misspelled, 50-page missive, former attorney Chris Sevier states that Apple should have protected him from his own penis. As per legal blog Above the Law, the suit states “The Plaintiff sustained these unwarranted damages in the course of using Apple’s product as designed. Apple’s product was not adequately equipped with safety features that would have otherwise blocked unwarranted intrusions of pornographic content that systematically poisoned his life.” Hmm, shouldn’t he be suing the Internet, then? That said, please tell me more about how Apple products are specifically designed for, erm, male biological sensibilities…
Notice that I said former attorney. It says here that “Mr. Sevier cannot practice law while on disability inactive status,” due to “mental infirmity or illness.” He also found himself on the wrong side of the law last month when he was arrested for allegedly stalking country-music superstar John Rich. According to The Tennessean, Sevier sent Rich several emails, notably one that “included a picture showing a scantily clad Sevier draped in an American flag and covered in a substance ‘believed to be representing blood.’”
Lemme guess, that was all his MacBook’s fault too, right?
